It’s that time of year again! Time to have a little summer fun! There are three fundamental things a properly spoiled kid needs to have:
1. Freakin’ awesome toys so that they can brag about it to the other kids. It’s better to have your kid be the one other kids use as a benchmark than the other way around. Who wants to hear whines like, “But it’s unfair… HE has *blah blah blah*” Afterall, you want your kid to be the ‘coolest’ don’t you? And remember, size does matter. Bigger is usually better.
2. Lots of parties. It’s too hard to spoil more than one child. Therefore, only have one and have lots of parties so that your kid doesn’t get lonely and start asking for a sibling. If you already have more than one child, you better get another job or something!
3. A nice tan… for no reason except that I like tans… and if I like it then they MUST have it!
That said, here is a partial list of approved summer toys for your properly spoiled kid: playgrounds, riding toys like motorized cars/boats/airplanes/hovercrafts, water slides that can accommdate 10+ kids (better yet, a pool house), ponies (and don’t forget the saddles, riding gear, and crop that go with it… and ponies can be exchanged for camels or ostriches), and the list goes on! The fall approved list is yet to come. Toys are like clothes, it’s seasonal if you know what you’re doing.
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